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5 ways to deal with regret:


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We were discussing regret here. Thought I'd expand on it a bit.

I love this advice from your piece:

We consistently overestimate how regret affects us.

We anticipate regret will be much more painful than it actually is.

Pain is often not as bad as anticipation of pain.

If I understand correctly, anticipation of bad emotions is worse than just living through them.

Bad things happen. Rather than worry before, just deal with it during and after.

I was just reading something related to this in regard to stress:

One moment the zebra is hanging out with his buddies, eating grass, and gossiping about the wildebeest, and the next moment a ferocious lion is breaking up the party. The zebra reacts, physiologically speaking, like the rest of us might. His heart rate quickens, his system is flooded with adrenaline and cortisol, and he runs away. But, according to Sapolsky, an interesting thing happens once the zebra has reached safety: all of his physiological stress responses diminish and the zebra returns back to his normal business-as-usual attitude. Unfortunately, humans - because of their unique ability to predict the future and remember the past - are not always so resilient.

Ed Diener;Robert Biswas-Diener. Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth (p. 40). Kindle Edition.

I've sometimes thought the key to happiness is poor memory.

That is definitely part of it.

I think those who are especially good at rationalizing have an enormous advantage.

And if you need an accurate prediction of the future, -don't ask a happy person.

So maybe: Miserable lawyer + Miserable stock broker = Happy you.

I wonder if not everyone is supposed to be happy.

Also, i found this piece on Failure amnesia, by @shervin ... http://shervster.tumblr.com/post/22950307156

"The Stoics were writing honestly, often self-critically, about how they could become better people, be happier, and deal with the problems they faced. As an entrepreneur you can see how practicing misfortune makes you stronger in the face of adversity; how flipping an obstacle upside down turns problems into opportunities; and how remembering how small you are keeps your ego manageable and in perspective. Ultimately, that’s what Stoicism is about. It’s not some systematic discussion of why or how the world exists. It is a series of reminders, tips and aids for living a good life."

Practice misfortune. I like that.

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