Sign up FAST! Login

Handsome Zombie Wreaks Havoc in Miami


Stashed in: Zombies!, Drugs!, Crime!, Apocalypse, Florida!

To save this post, select a stash from drop-down menu or type in a new one:

But we all know he won't be so pretty in a few weeks once he's had a chance to rot a bit.

cm-7497-04fc551db1234b.jpegNot since the strike of the nightmarish sea monster off the coast of South Carolina have I been so terrified as I am today.

The Miami police department has constructed an elaborate story about how Rudy Eugene was simply snorting "bath salts," and therefore felt an uncontrollable urge to feast on the face flesh of a naked man.

But we all know what's really going on here. Twitter knows what's going on here.

Zombie Apocalypse.

It started a few months ago with the zombie ant outbreak, and now it's spread to humans.

Run for the hills!

Whatever happened with Big Lurch? Is the government still pretending that he's "alive" and in a regular prison?

"He is currently serving his life sentence at California State Prison, Los Angeles County in Lancaster, California. He has spent the last 4 of 5 years in solitary confinement. He was recently transferred to California State Prison, Sacramento (SAC). Some people have started petitions or movements called, "Free Big Lurch", due to the circumstantial evidence when he was convicted."

They better NOT free him. Sacramento is only two hours from us!

At the very least, I'm going to have to re-watch Zombieland so I can refresh my memory of The Rules of zombie hunting.

stash-1-4f74dd6dbe0f4.jpeg

Bath Salts are a real, bad problem.

See this GQ article: Breaking Bath Salts.

See also the PandaWhale gif: What Bath Salts Do To Your Brain.

You May Also Like: