Have any of you realized that you were the crazy boy/girlfriend? : AskReddit
Eric Barker stashed this in reddit
Haha: "Got paranoid. Figured out her vm passcode. Listened to a voicemail of a guy telling her that he'll miss her over the weekend and loves her. I confronted her about it and she denied it. I played it for her and suddenly realized it was me from a couple years earlier. She had saved it because it was sweet. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH"
Jesus Christ guys, this was just the tip of the iceberg. My behavior got way more douchey, and then it got dark.
There was the whole shit when after we broke up and I went to walgreens, bought some poster board. Went to her work with this gay ass sign I made. All I remember from the sign is that one part of it read: I might not have lots of money (next to the word money I glued dollar bills). It was a "you're my everything and nothing else matters but our love" type of theme. I actually thought it would make for an embraceable moment. fuck me.
towards the end I told her I was going to join the army because I thought it would make for a moment when she'd realized how much she loved me. It was some pathetic test I made up. I actually went to a recruitment office and grabbed some marketing flyers, I ran out when the guy behind the counter noticed me. I showed her the flyers so she'd think I was serious.
shit got worse and worse. Seriously, What the fuck was I thinking.
I'm going to have to delete my account soon.
I was trashed, in my underwear, outside of her apartment, throwing rocks at the garage door, screaming at her for not being a big enough bitch, and it started because I wanted chocolate milk but was too drunk/lazy to walk to the store. Then it hit me, Gumby, you are a fucking lunatic.
-->Imagined this story as a Gumby cartoon. 10/10. Would imagine again.
------>Now imagine the girlfriend is Pokey and the police that come to arrest Gumby are the Blockheads and we have basically written the next episode of Robot Chicken.