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Bill Simmons makes 2013 Week 2 NFL picks - Grantland


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An even better sports analogy: It's the one show that may have figured out how to hit a walk-off grand slam. Whether that happens or not, it has already made history: For the first time, I find myself choosing an already-filmed, can-watch-it-whenever-I-want television show over live football. Last week, I watched the first quarter of Cowboys-Giants, then jumped into my DVR library at 6:17 p.m. (Pacific Time) and cranked up the still-recording episode of Breaking Bad. At this point, my kids could have said, "Hey, Dad, we're gonna go outside and play in traffic," and I probably would have grunted, "OK, sounds good."

I spent the next 45 minutes inhaling the show, ripping through commercials and finishing in real time at 7:01. Sixty seconds later, I was standing outside and wondering how I got there. I regained a grip by 7:05, restarted the Cowboys game from my jumping-off point, zipped through the commercials (and there were a million of them) and caught up a little after halftime ended. So, really, I missed ONE live quarter.

Now here's where you say, "I thought you were one of those ADD sports fan weirdos who built an office with multiple TVs so you could watch four games every Sunday. Why wouldn't you watch Breaking Bad while monitoring the Sunday-night game?" Simple answer: I don't want any distractions during these last few episodes. I don't want to look at e-mails or glance at texts, much less divide my attention between a great TV show and a football game. Not happening. You'd do that with forgettable shows like Ray Donovanand MTV's The Challenge, not the walk-off grand slam season of Breaking Bad. Actually, who am I kidding? I wouldn't do that with The Challenge, either.

OK, so what about this Sunday? Why would any self-respecting NFL fan want to miss one live second of a Niners-Seahawks game in 2013? Especially when …

• It's the best rivalry in football right now. (Hold on, I'm pouring out a belated 40 for Colts-Patriots and Ravens-Steelers, our last two joint holders of the Rivalry Championship Belt. At least Colts-Patriots transferred its feudal energy to Broncos-Patriots. That Ravens-Steelers rivalry fell apart faster than the Freebirds vs. the Von Erichs.) Beyond the NFC West title stakes and the added animosity from playing twice (and this season, maybe even three times), consider that these are the league's two most physical teams — especially because the Seahawks take tons of PEDs. (I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Only a FEW of the Seahawks take PEDs.)2

DIS GON B GUD gif

The 11 foot 8 truck video had me gasping for air.

How did I not see this until now??

Last Browns note: Cleveland fan Daryl Morey posted a video on Facebook recently with the caption, “Metaphor for being a Cleveland sports fan? Different trucks repeatedly crashing into a bridge.” Naturally, I had to watch it. And it’s amazing. This might be the best four minutes on YouTube. If you don’t enjoy this video, I’m giving you a full refund for every NFL column this season.

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