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wait but why: 7 Ways To Be Insufferable On Facebook


Stashed in: Facebook!, Venn!, Psychology!, Narcissists!, Facebook statuses, Personality, WHY, Wait But Why

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Summary of 7 bad status messages:

1. Bragging.

2. Cryptic cliffhanger.

3. Mundane.

4. Public posting to one person for no reason.

5. Out of nowhere Oscar acceptance speech.

6. Incredibly obvious opinions.

7. Random unsolicited nugget of wisdom.

Actually, I'm guilty of #7. I like this status:

  • “Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.” ~Buddha 

Actually, I disagree with his reason for disliking #7:

First of all, let’s be entirely clear that there is no humility involved in a Step Toward Enlightenment post simply because you might be quoting someone else—the clear patronizing message is, “Ahh hello Facebook Friends. I am one who knows the secrets of life—allow me to teach you so that you too can one day find enlightenment.”

Secondly—you know what inspires people? You achieving something incredible and letting it be an example and inspiration to others. For your words alone to be inspirational, you need to be a gifted speaker or writer who really has something original to say—and we both know that’s not you. So for you to consider yourself an inspirational character by simply posting trite quotes is, well, flagrantly narcissistic. You’re assuming that you, just by being you, are inspirational.

Thirdly, let’s get to your real motive with these statuses—Image Crafting. You want people to see how enlightened you are and admire the spiritual journey you’re on.

I want no such thing.

If I'm sharing a wisdom nugget it is because I enjoyed it and am sharing it for others to enjoy.

Harsh but true:

Venn diagram Facebook statuses

Also harsh but true:

The bigger point here is that the qualities of annoying statuses are normal human qualities—everyone needs to brag to someone here and there, everyone has moments of weakness when they need attention or feel lonely, and everyone has some downright ugly qualities that are gonna come out at one time or another.

And that’s why you have people who love you. 

The thing that Daniel and most others haven't internalized is the fact that if they have 800 Facebook friends, only about 10 or 15 love them. For an especially lovable person, maybe it’s as high as 30. Between 1 and 4%. That means that between 96 and 99% of your Facebook friends DO NOT LOVE YOU.

People who don’t love you don’t care about you or your day or your life that much, they’re probably not especially rooting for you, and they certainly want nothing to do with your worst qualities. And you doing something purely to serve your emotional or egotistical needs really should not show up on their computer screen—it just shouldn’t.

I don't mind facebook brags as long as they are interesting.  The one in the image is completely legit. There's a pretty broad brag spectrum between "Guess who just got into med school" and "Guess who just saved a dollar by scooping a manufacturer coupon out of the litter tray just as Fuffykins was about to shit on it".I'd argue that keeping up with acquaintances major life events is one of the more compelling use cases for Facebook.  Being able to skim through acquaintances brags about their child's performance at the under 11 state cup stacking championship is not as compelling a pitch, but it sure beats having to hear the 25 minute version at the office water cooler.

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