How To Win Every Argument
Eric Barker stashed this in Diabolical Plans For World Domination
By framing an argument as having a winner and a loser, we create enemies.
What happens if you bring video evidence, expert witnesses and logically back them into a corner from which the greatest trial lawyer could not escape?
They hate you. That’s what happens.
Congrats, you’re the lucky winner of a new enemy.
There’s a better way.
I think Eric is right on with his conclusion:
In that TED talk above, Daniel Cohen makes another excellent point that often gets overlooked:
Losing an argument means you learn something.
Knowing how to win every argument would be a terrible personal loss.
You don’t get any wiser by verbally bludgeoning people. You get wiser by learning.
Winning an argument is a short term ego victory. Losing an argument can be a learning experience that benefits you the rest of your life.
... and in addition to learning, gracefully conceding an argument, or any well-fought fight, can also gain you a passionate ally for life:
People always adore most the prodigal son returning home, or the black sheep that allows you to convince it to become a little more gray, much more so than the long-suffering sycophant who's always on your side or the obstinate idealist who never relents in their own righteousness.
Of course obstinate righteousness is a much easier and more fun addiction to pick up than being a sycophant, yet much more difficult to put down. I've been trying to get free of it for decades...
So basically, you should get into arguments because when you put down your weapon the other person thinks of you as an ally?