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Lions Released to Deal with Hamptons Deer Problems

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The solution is simple, practical, and will make mincemeat of the problem in no time.

As funny as this is, I'm going to have to give it a score of 4 original pranksters.

"Van der Klerk bought his Bridgehampton property sight unseen.

Upon arrival here, he expressed astonishment at the crowds of deer that had broken through the hedgerows to feast on his gardens and lawns. He was even more astonished to learn that the five eastern towns, including those in the Hamptons, had agreed to have federal sharpshooters out here, free to roam on private property with high-powered rifles in February to kill as many deer as they could. The shoot is expected to last 40 days. (Biblical!)

“I will not allow anyone I don’t know on my property,” he said. “I can’t speak for the other East End towns, but I’m sure that those here in the Hamptons feel the same way as I do.”

Van der Klerk’s solution has been to bring 26 male African lions from South Africa to Bridgehampton. He plans to release them into the woods here in the Hamptons on Monday.

“They are the natural predators of deer in South Africa,” he told this reporter at a meeting at his house on Friday. “I have done the math. Based on the rate that these carnivores eat meat, the deer herd should be gone in 10 days. This is mother nature at work.”

Van der Klerk also had his attorneys do some research. There is an ordinance in the Hamptons prohibiting the harboring of “wild animals,” but in the list of such animals there is mention of coyotes and American mountain lions, but not the South African lion."

That's a loophole of unusual size.

This story is a hoax, right?  Because already I'm thinking "Hamptonites, the other white meat."

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