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4 More Reasons Why Receiving Is Harder Than Giving | World of Psychology


Stashed in: Interconnectedness!, #love, Psychology!, Soul, Give and Take

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We’re afraid of our longing for love and connection:

The place within us that longs to receive is a tender spot. Growing up, our longing for acceptance and understanding might have been met with toxic messages that something’s wrong with us for wanting. As a result, we learned that it’s not safe to have wants and longings. It just leads to trouble — better to rely upon ourselves.

Concluding that receiving is hazardous, our receiving receptors atrophy. We feel clumsy when a caring word or kind attention saunters our way. We squirm, we protest, we demur. Or, we offer an all-too-quick “thank you” rather than pausing, taking a breath, and letting in the gift of caring.

We’re wired to need each other:

Without healthy connections, our immune system suffers. Our soul shrivels. Our very nature is to be interrelated. As Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh puts it, we “inter-are.” Interbeing means that we don’t exist apart from the intricate web of life. There’s nothing shameful about living in harmony with our basic nature.

Recognizing that our very existence is interrelated, we can feel good about wanting satisfying interactions; we can’t thrive without it. Taking refuge in the sangha (community) is one of the three refuge vows in Buddhism. We cultivate wisdom and compassion through sensitive conversations and attuned connections with each other.

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