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How Gary Vaynerchuk Scales The Unscalable - Forbes

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This is my most recent Forbes article.

It is an inside look at Gary Vaynerchuk's approach to scaling high-quality relationships. IMHO, he is the best person in the world at this. So, I read all three of his books, consumed 100+ of his interviews/articles, and interviewed him myself. 

I also interviewed researchers in related fields. 

I am personally rethinking how I build relationships as a result of writing this article. 

For those who already follow Gary, there is a lot that explains his success, which I haven't seen talked about.

Great article -- I appreciated the story about Refresh!

My favorite part of the article is the Rickey Henderson story:

When Gary Vaynerchuk was 10 years old, his dad took him to his first baseball game. At the time, one of his favorite baseball players was Rickey Henderson. After an inning, as Henderson was going into the dugout, he made eye contact with Gary and gave him a wink.

That moment changed Gary forever. Immediately, Gary turned from a Rickey Henderson fan into a fanatic. He stockpiled his jerseys and baseball cards. He told hundreds of friends about what happened.

That experience taught Gary the power of acknowledging someone. Simply responding on Twitter with a ‘LOL’ has a meaning much larger than its three characters. It is a wink.

Gary’s personal experiences are backed up by research. Harry Ries, a social psychologist at the University of Rochester, has been studying intimacy within relationships for over two decades. When doing a review of all the different studies in the field, he noticed an interesting pattern. Researchers were converging on the same conclusions on what caused intimacy, but they were using different terms.  Reis combined the central ideas and coined an all-encompassing term that would describe a root cause of intimacy in relationships; perceived partner responsiveness. Reis’ research showed that the keys to being perceived as responsive are:

  • Understanding. Understanding indicates that the partner has an accurate view of you (fears, goals, capabilities).

  • Validation. Validation signifies the partner’s esteem, implying that he or she would sacrifice self-interest for the good the relationship .

  • Caring. Caring directly shows the partner’s active concern for your well-being.

Even if we’re not a celebrity, we can use the power of a wink. Have you ever had a situation where a stranger was unexpectedly generous or made a nice comment in passing? There is a low bar set on interactions with strangers. Therefore, stepping over that bar is surprising easily.

Read more:

Thanks Adam! That really means a lot coming from you. Out of curiosity, what made the Rickey Henderson part resonate the most with you?

A simple, human gesture of empathy from Rickey engendered a lifetime of loyalty from Gary.

That's amazing.

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