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Generic Brand Video


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This is a Generic Brand Video.

BY Kendra Eash - - - -

We think first Of vague words that are synonyms for progress And pair them with footage of a high-speed train.

Science Is doing lots of stuff That may or may not have anything to do with us.

See how this guy in a lab coat holds up a beaker? That means we do research. Here’s a picture of DNA.

There are a shitload of people in the world Especially in India.

See how we’re part of the global economy? Look at these farmers in China.

But we also do business in the U.S.A. Or want you to think we do.

Check out this wind energy thing in Indiana, And this blue collar guy with dirt on his face. Phew.

Also, we care about the environment, loosely. Here’s some powerful, rushing water And people planting trees. Our policies could be related to these panoramic views of Costa Rica.

In today’s high speed environment, Stop motion footage of a city at night With cars turning quickly Makes you think about doing things efficiently And time passing.

Lest you think we’re a faceless entity, Look at all these attractive people. Here’s some of them talking and laughing And close-ups of hands passing canned goods to each other In a setting that evokes community service.

Equality, Innovation, Honesty And advancement Are all words we chose from a list.

Our profits are awe-inspiring. Like this guy who’s looking up and pointing At a skyscraper or a kite While smiling and explaining something to his child.

Using a specific ratio of Asian people to Black people to Women to White men We want to make sure we represent your needs and interests Or at least a version of your skin color In our ads.

Did we put a baby in here? What about an ethnic old man whose wrinkled smile represents the happiness and wisdom of the poor? Yep.

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/this-is-a-generic-brand-video

Wow. Soon these videos will be made by robots. 

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