Sign up FAST! Login

18 Things Rolling Stone Couldn't Fit Into Its Bill Simmons Profile

Stashed in: 49ers!, Twitter!, Basketball, Football, Rolling Stone!, Boston, Nate Silver

To save this post, select a stash from drop-down menu or type in a new one:

Here are my favorites:

1) There will probably be another edition of The Book of Basketball

"I've got to re-do the pyramid to figure out where LeBron James is. I think I'd put him sixth, all time. Michael Jordan, Bill Russell, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, and then LeBron. Kevin Durant might be in the top 50 or 60 now. Dirk Nowitzki moved into the top 20. Maybe I'll charge people half-price, or you can get a discount if you bring back your copy of the old book."

3) The end of the Heat-Spurs game six last June made him miserable.

"I had bad bronchitis, and I was messed up on medication. As soon as it became clear San Antonio had clinched the series, I was like, This is great. I was excited to go home and see my family, just lie in bed for two days. Then it flipped. And we were like, We've gotta go on TV and talk about that? I took that one hard." Also: He kinda hates the Heat.

4) David Stern hates him.

"David Stern hates me. I wrote some negative stuff about him during the last lockout, and I think he took it personally. I sat next to him at a documentary screening once. He said to his wife, 'This is Bill Simmons.' There was a little contempt in his voice. She shook my hand like I had just pooped in it."

5) If you want a job at Grantland, stop being a jerk on Twitter.

"We have a kind of 'no dicks' policy. We try to hire decent people, not people who are assholes or cause trouble. We'll look at someone's Twitter feed and see what's on there, and if it's somebody who's starting fights, I don't want to hire that person."

7) He helped poach Nate Silver from the New York Times – and it wasn't difficult. 

"I did a podcast with Nate, and he was asking questions about Grantland. I could tell he wasn't asking only out of curiosity. That day, I sent a long email to John Skipper and a few other people, recapping everything. We were underdogs to get him, but I thought we had a chance, because the Times was being arrogant. I don't want to betray Nate, but some of the things he was saying to me—they were treating him like he was just another one of their writers. 'We're the New York Times, we'll be fine.' After the credibility he gave them, and the attention—there's no way you let that guy go. You've got to be idiots. I've got no problem saying that. I think they really fucked up."

8) He jinxed the Pats' 2008 Super Bowl victory.

"When there were two minutes left in the game, my dad and I took a picture with the scoreboard behind us, like, 'Hey, we're going to go 19-0!' And I do feel like that might have singlehandedly swung the game. People don't mention that. They mention the [David] Tyree catch, but they don't mention that picture, or God going, 'Really? You're taking a picture? Alright, watch me change the outcome of this game.' The larger point is, every Pats fan felt that way. Karma killed us."

16) Joe Montana > Tom Brady.

"The rules were different when he played. Guys could dive at his knees, hit him in the head, crush his receivers over the middle. If Brady wins a fourth Super Bowl, then I'd say Brady."

17) Here's why he's not following you on Twitter. 

"I only follow people who don't tweet a lot. I have good friends that I don't follow."