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On what online dating tells us about race relations, notes from the OK Cupid Blog

Online Dating Stats Reveal A 'Dataclysm' Of Telling Trends

The Science Behind the Perfect Dating Profile

"All the data on race I have is from dating sites, but on these sites black users, especially, there's a bias against them. Every kind of way you can measure their success on a site — how people rate them, how often they reply to their messages, how many messages they get — that's all reduced.

And so obviously race is always a topic in his country, but especially now with Ferguson, it's such an emotional issue. And it's rare that you can find data that speaks of how one person of whatever race treats another person of another race in an aggregate and kind of measurable way. And so online data is very good at that, and specifically dating data because it's all just strangers mixing with each other. The whole premise of a dating site is to judge people, and so you really are able to tease that out free of any offline social constraints — your friends don't know what you do on a dating site like they do know what you do on Facebook.

... Of course, when you ask anybody directly, even if it's just a computer asking the question, people are like, "Oh yeah, interracial marriage is great. I don't care what race my match is," you know all of that stuff you'd expect a kind of decent, forward-thinking person to say. But when you actually are observing passively what they're doing when they don't think you're keeping track, you see a totally different story."

"Soon, Rudder began stumbling upon some sweeping societal observations. The turning point came in 2009 when he grouped OkCupid users by race and analyzed whom they considered attractive. (The site allows users to rate each other on a scale from one—ugly—to five—super hot.) When it came to pure sexual attraction, Rudder found that people exhibited obvious and quantifiable preferences for people who looked a certain way. Asian women rated highly among men of all races; whites and Latinos of both genders did OK. But Asian men and black people—black women especially—were consistently rated lower than everyone else. “People commented with things like, ‘I can’t help who I’m attracted to,’ ” Rudder says. “That’s true, but there’s definitely a societal element at play here. It’s not just DNA.” The post was picked up by Newsweek, the Guardian, and the New York Times Freakonomics blog and discussed in an op-ed posted on the Yale Law School website. OkTrends quickly morphed from entertaining one-offs into a series of highly publicized, data-driven musings about the Way We Live Now."

We Experiment On Human Beings!

Here are a few of the more interesting experiments OkCupid has run.

Experiment 1: LOVE IS BLIND, OR SHOULD BEOkCupid’s ten-year history has been the epitome of the old saying: two steps forward, one total fiasco. A while ago, we had the genius idea of an app that set up blind dates; we spent a year and a half on it, and it was gone from the app store in six months.

Of course, being geniuses, we chose to celebrate the app’s release by removing all the pictures from OkCupid on launch day. “Love Is Blind Day” on OkCupid—January 15, 2013.

All our site metrics were way down during the “celebration”, for example:


But by comparing Love Is Blind Day to a normal Tuesday, we learned some very interesting things. In those 7 hours without photos:


And it wasn’t that “looks weren’t important” to the users who’d chosen to stick around. When the photos were restored at 4PM, 2,200 people were in the middle of conversations that had started “blind”. Those conversations melted away. The goodness was gone, in fact worse than gone. It was like we’d turned on the bright lights at the bar at midnight.


This whole episode made me curious, so I went and looked up the data for the people who had actually used the blind date app. I found a similar thing: once they got to the date, they had a good time more or less regardless of how good-looking their partner was. Here’s the female side of the experience (the male is very similar).


Oddly, it appears that having a better-looking blind date made women slightly less happy—my operating theory is that hotter guys were assholes more often. Anyhow, the fascinating thing is the onlinereaction of those exact same women was just as judgmental as everyone else’s:


Basically, people are exactly as shallow as their technology allows them to be.

Experiment 2: SO WHAT’S A PICTURE WORTH?All dating sites let users rate profiles, and OkCupid’s original system gave people two separate scales for judging each other, “personality” and “looks.”I found this old screenshot. The “loading” icon over the picture pretty much sums up our first four years. Anyhow, here’s the vote system:


Our thinking was that a person might not be classically gorgeous or handsome but could still be cool, and we wanted to recognize that, which just goes to show that when OkCupid started out, the only thing with more bugs than our HTML was our understanding of human nature.

Here’s some data I dug up from the backup tapes. Each dot here is a person. The two scores are within a half point of each other for 92% of the sample after just 25 votes (and that percentage approaches 100% as vote totals get higher).


In short, according to our users, “looks” and “personality” were the same thing, which of course makes perfect sense because, you know, this young female account holder, with a 99th percentile personality:

driftwood-clutching-lady.png…and whose profile, by the way, contained no text, is just so obviously a really cool person to hang out and talk to and clutch driftwood with.

After we got rid of the two scales, and replaced it with just one, we ran a direct experiment to confirm our hunch—that people just look at the picture. We took a small sample of users and half the time we showed them, we hid their profile text. That generated two independent sets of scores for each profile, one score for “the picture and the text together” and one for “the picture alone.” Here’s how they compare. Again, each dot is a user. Essentially, the text is less than 10% of what people think of you.


So, your picture is worth that fabled thousand words, but your actual words are worth…almost nothing.

Experiment 3: THE POWER OF SUGGESTIONThe ultimate question at OkCupid is, does this thing even work? By all our internal measures, the “match percentage” we calculate for users is very good at predicting relationships. It correlates with message success, conversation length, whether people actually exchange contact information, and so on. But in the back of our minds, there’s always been the possibility: maybe it works just because we tell people it does. Maybe people just like each other because they think they’re supposed to? Like how Jay-Z still sells albums?

† Once the experiment was concluded, the users were notified of the correct match percentage.

To test this, we took pairs of bad matches (actual 30% match) and told them they were exceptionally good for each other (displaying a 90% match.)† Not surprisingly, the users sent more first messages when we said they were compatible. After all, that’s what the site teaches you to do.


But we took the analysis one step deeper. We asked: does the displayed match percentage cause more than just that first message—does the mere suggestion cause people to actually like each other? As far as we can measure, yes, it does.

When we tell people they are a good match, they act as if they are. Even when they should be wrong for each other.


The four-message threshold is our internal measure for a real conversation. And though the data is noisier, this same “higher display means more success” pattern seems to hold when you look at contact information exchanges, too.

This got us worried—maybe our matching algorithm was just garbage and it’s only the power of suggestion that brings people together. So we tested things the other way, too: we told people who were actuallygood for each other, that they were bad, and watched what happened.

Here’s the whole scope of results (I’m using the odds of exchanging four messages number here):


As you can see, the ideal situation is the lower right: to both be toldyou’re a good match, and at the same time actually be one. OkCupid definitely works, but that’s not the whole story. And if you have to choose only one or the other, the mere myth of compatibility works just as well as the truth. Thus the career of someone like Doctor Oz, in a nutshell. And, of course, to some degree, mine.

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