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Rise of the Feminist Tinder-Creep-Busting Web Vigilante


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There are a lot of men who are jerks on online dating sites.

Now women are outing them using Instagram, Tumblr, and Facebook.

Other women on the Facebook thread agreed, saying they had similar experiences and wanted to see the perpetrators punished in some way, like through a public Instagram account.

Tweten said, “I’ll do it!”

That Instagram account became Bye Felipe, Tweten’s crowdsourced menagerie of mankind’s worst specimens. The name is a play on “Bye Felicia,” a meme used to signify that someone has left a party, and they won’t be missed. Since creating it Monday of last week, Tweten has received more than two dozen submissions.

Tweten, who is 27 and works for an entertainment company in Los Angeles, has been on and off OkCupid since 2010. She acknowledges that these types of messages come from a relatively small number of users. She’s had mostly good experiences with online dating, and she met her last serious boyfriend on OkCupid.

Still, the crude, unsolicited messages are a kind of a bitter aftertaste to what is usually a fun, if sometimes fatiguing, process. “What in society makes them think that it's okay to message someone like that?” she said. “At the same time, it's funny. You can see the desperation.”

Tweten is part of an growing contingent of women who are dedicated to exposing the shady, hostile, and crass entreaties they get from their digital suitors. There’s Straight White Boys Texting, which is exactly what it sounds like: (“You should come eat this dick for desert.” [sic]) Minority women seem to have it especially rough; there are a number of sites devoted to exposing the uniquely disgusting bile that seems to spew forth when certain white men attempt to woo Asian women.

Or, for more run-of-the-mill indignities, check out Dudes of Tinder, a Tumblr collecting a combination of outlandish profile photos and gross messages (“Wanna meet up for some chicken? Maybe some sex?”).

In the words of Elizabeth Bennet, "You are too hasty, sir."

Online dating is just like regular dating—if it had been sprinkled with radioactive dust and left out in the sun to get bigger, louder, and warped.

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