When you feel the body from the inside, there is a door
Tina Miller, MA,CFLE stashed this in psychology
Stashed in: Rumi
Secondly, I don't believe in fusion. If I must choose between fusion and being a distant, frozen type of therapist, then yes, you are right about me. I'd rather have fusion. But fusion and distance are not the only choices. In fusion the other person is invisible to you. Fusion is projection, not meeting the real other person. I welcome being surprised that my projections were wrong again. It's much more exciting to recognize every few minutes what a different organism the other person is. I can never finish being corrected in what I thought I knew.It is easy to form a real relationship with a client in therapy. Therapy is so easy compared to living with somebody. You can let yourself experience your client as a totally different person. The client comes once or twice a week. Whether there is improvement or not, your life goes on. The client even pays you. After an hour the client goes home. You can let the client be real, and permit your real self to care and relate to the client. The frame of the relation is narrow; that is why it can be deeper. It is likely to be much more real than our life relationships in which we are full of projections, pain and misunderstandings. When my needs are so intense it is hard to keep remembering that the other person isn't on earth to be what I need, nor can I sense her really if I think that she is the opposite of what I need. She is a whole other life being led over there. Relating to another life is hard, but much more exciting than the illusion of fusion.
Remember, the entrance door to the sanctuary is inside you. ~Rumi