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The Powerful Predictor Behind Successful Relationships


The Powerful Predictor Behind Successful Relationships | Farnam Street

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Helpful article for both home relationships and work relationships. The real superstars in sales and service also respond to bids from prospects and customers in the best ways possible.  Plus they get 3 gold stars for using the proper grammar in the title.  :) ("think differently" not "think different")

I agree with your observations, Beth.

I did not realize that most healthy relationships have a ratio of five positive to one negative response. 

And I appreciated the three simple tips for keeping your approach moving toward, rather than away, from someone:

1. Always respond by showing that you’ve heard what has been said, even if you want to change the subject: “I’m so glad that you’ve found a flat that you like. That must be a weight off your mind. I’ve just finished a new draft of the report, so if you have a moment . . .”

2. Open every conversation with a positive bid. In his research, remember, Gottman found that he could predict, with over 90 percent accuracy, the outcome of a relationship based on what he heard in the first fifteen minutes of a conversation. In many cases, the first three minutes gave a strong sense of whether the relationship was going to survive. If those first minutes are full of negativity, blame, and criticism, the outcome will be negative as well.

3. Even when you vehemently disagree with a person’s suggestions, say what you like about those suggestions first. Establish common ground (e.g., “I like the fact you’re being totally up front”; “I appreciate how passionately you feel about this issue”) before presenting your case.

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