It's Broken, Don't Fix It
Joyce Park stashed this in Code
How to think about becoming the happiest, healthiest version of yourself. Especially useful for women, techies, and women techies.
If I'm reading it properly, the article encourages us to let other people be broken, rather than give in to the temptation to try to fix them.
It’s the things we make exceptions for that cause the most trouble.
“This is different because…” Those are dangerous words. They keep your blinders on. Instead of those words, begin that same statement with “I don’t want to be happy because…” or "I don't think I deserve to be happy because..." That is likely much closer to the truth.
If that’s too big and scary, try this exercise. Make a short list of people and situations in your life. As you read them off, note whether you feel energized or drained when you say each one. Of course there is a lot of nuance in our interactions, but we tend to hide in the complexity. Put a laser fine point on it.
Hint: The first things that came to mind are generally your biggest drains.
Our society teaches us that we’re being selfish if we practice self-care. This is probably the biggest stumbling block for most people. It’s not selfish or bad, though. It’s essential to being happy, healthy and able to help others. You must put on your oxygen mask first before assisting other passengers. There are no exceptions to that rule. If you being happy and healthy is somehow not the best way for you to be in some situation or relationship, then how could that be good for you? How could it be good for anybody else?