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3 Important Realizations for Building a Strong and Lasting Marriage


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In a nutshell: seek to understand, rather than becoming annoyed.

Nothing else in life that’s worth doing happens without effort, he added. Graduating from university isn’t easy. Getting a job isn’t easy. Succeeding in a career isn’t easy. Becoming a good parent isn’t easy. These all take mindfulness, energy, and resilience, and there are learning curves to each new stage of life.

Instead of telling me that my wife was wrong and I was right, he gave me this gem of practical wisdom: “When it comes to disagreements in your marriage, always err on the side of caution.”

Meaning, the issue is not about wet towels. The issue is that their specific placement is something your wife values — for whatever her reasons. So if those wet towels are important to her, then don’t dismiss the issue casually. Instead, be cautious enough to realize that the kernel of the issue is something that means something to her.

In all matters of disagreement — even in something as seemingly small as where to hang wet towels — the solution is to proceed with carefulness, thoughtfulness, and attentiveness.

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