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Game of Thrones s5e9 Precap: Tommen Successors, Tyrion Job Interview Tips, Ramsay Skills, Greatest Battles, and the Night’s King’s Meme

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Chris asks, “If Tommen were to die — like from starving himself and being mopey — then who would be next in line for the vacant position of King?”

The answer to this is deceptively simple. If King Tommen Baratheon of House Baratheon, first of his name, should pass away, then that would finish off the male heirs of [coughs violently for 10 minutes] his father, King Robert Baratheon. Legally speaking, the throne should then pass to his [coughs loudly, punches chest with fist] UNCLE, Stannis Baratheon. Simple.

Here’s the thing, though: In Westeros, legalities mean very little without the power to enforce them. Remember: When Robert died by pig, the realm was not particularly thrilled with the prospect of being ruled by Joffrey. When the War of the Five Kings kicked off, the bannerlords of the Baratheon Stormlands — not to mention the Tyrells and the full power of the Reach — backed Renly Baratheon instead of Joffrey, stepping completely over the older of Robert’s brothers, Stannis. For the hot five minutes before he got smoked by the smoke baby, Renly, with the largest army in the war, was the odds-on favorite to sit in the Iron Throne. Power, in Renly’s case, took the form of the force of his personality: his charm and ability to politic. By and large, the lords of the south (excepting the Westerlands) felt they were going to get a better deal from Renly than from his older brother with the better claim. This probably had something to do with Renly being a chill guy and openhanded lord while Stannis rewards his most faithful supporter by hacking off the man’s fingers. Aegon the Conqueror had absolutely zero claim to the then nonexistent kingship of all of Westeros when he invaded. He just had dragons.

So, if Tommen dies, what then? King’s Landing is, at least nominally, held by forces loyal to House Lannister, with considerable support — in the form of cash, food, and troops — from the Tyrells. Neither would simply quit King’s Landing just because Stannis (or anyone else) had strong claim. In the event of Tommen’s untimely demise, I’d guess that Lady Olenna would move House Tyrell into the driver’s seat of their alliance with the Lannisters and cast around for an advantageous marriage deal for Queen Margaery. It’s that or call a Great Council of lords to decide which claimant would be Westeros’s next ruler.

Deaths by pig and by smoke baby.  I love GoT.

They really work hard to make most of the deaths different:

The death in s5e9 is definitely one of the worst in the whole show. Horrible. 

Yes it is and I wonder what the writers have in store for Stannis.  If there are gods!!

In less than a minute they turned Stannis from hero to "can't wait for Ramsay or Brienne to get him".

Is there any possibility Melisandre was wrong here? She's never been wrong before, right?

Emergency Awesome:

Tyrion job interview tips:

Ben Lindbergh: You lost your life savings when you bought a wildfire factory at the height of the Blackwater bubble. Now you’re down to your last Silver Stag, and you’re buried in bills from the Iron Bank. You could go to the cock merchant and pawn an appendage you can never replace, but modifying your behavior might be a better way. It’s time to stop blending into the background like the Lord of Bones on a battlefield filled with undead. Instead, follow these simple steps to stand out like a Lannister and land the job you deserve. Remember: Halfman, not half measures.

1. Don’t Provide Documentation or References: Your prospective employer will want you to prove that you aren’t an impostor, but providing references is a risk: You never know what someone will say. If you’re asked to hand over ID, defuse any suspicions about who you are by sighing theatrically and saying, “If only I were otherwise.” Your interviewer will be so impressed by your self-deprecation that she’ll forget about the background check and move on to the tough questions, like why she shouldn’t kill you.

2. Brag About Your Criminal Record: Protecting your privacy is important, but don’t hide your heinous acts under a bushel basket. If you’ve ever committed a crime to get what you wanted — the closer to capital, the better — lead with it. Your interviewer will respect your ability to think outside the box (the box, in this case, being the legal system).

3. Bad-mouth Former Bosses: Prospective employers always hope to hear how terrible your previous employer was. A well-placed complaint displays your discernment, so seize any opportunity to slip in an anecdote about your old boss preferring sadistic bedroom rituals to fostering a collaborative corporate culture.

4. Undercut Other Applicants: Before your interviewer calls you into her office/throne room, work the waiting room until you can make a convincing case that the other applicants aren’t qualified. This method is most effective if your closest competitor has already betrayed your would-be boss and earned two different types of death sentence.

5. Insult Your Interviewer’s Family: These days, everything is online. Do some digging and dredge up a few facts about the most painful part of your interviewer’s past. A joke about her horrible father should show her you’re prepared.

6. Turn the Tables: The secret to getting an offer is not looking like you want one. Don’t try to tell an employer why she should hire you. Instead, ask why youwould want to work for her. Pretend you have some power.

7. Drink Heavily: Don’t forget your flagon, and sip liberally to loosen your tongue. You’ll soon see where you stand: If your interviewer values your opinion, she’ll want to take your wine away to stop you from slurring.

Tyler asks, “Ramsay is a monster by any measure, but I’d like to know what Ramsay’s skills include, if any. For example, he said this week that all he needed was ‘20 good men’ to take out Stannis’s army. Is he an exceptional warrior? Is there anything else he’s good at? Singing? Cooking? Or does he strictly focus on hunting humans at all times?”

Ramsay is a wild brawler, not a trained warrior. Any knight worth the name would, in theory, be able to take him down. He’s useful to Roose because his bastard origins make him eager to please, so he’ll do things like volunteer to take 20 men on a spec-ops mission against Stannis’s army. Also, Ramsay being a psycho is a kind of assassination insurance policy; any wannabe Northern insurgents looking to take out Roose had better hit Ramsay as well, or else face the prospect of him as nominal Warden of the North.

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