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How to Make Your Relationship Last: 3 Secrets Backed by Research | TIME


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Here’s how to make love last:

  • You’re A Terrible Mind Reader: Stop assuming you know why they did something wrong. You don’t. Want the answer? Ask.
  • Rose-Colored Glasses Are Good: If you’re going to try to read minds, assume the best. Otherwise, why the heck are you with this person?
  • No Unspoken Rules: They can’t read minds either. Stop thinking “it’s obvious.” If it was obvious, you would not have this problem.
  • Symbolic Meanings Confuse People: To you “being late” means “you don’t love me.” To them “being late” means “being late.” Clarify your interpretation or they’ll think you’re insane.

You’re not a bad person. And neither are they. It’s often just a misunderstanding. So treat it that way.

The secret to that crazy love is often just wearing those rose-colored glasses: believing your partner is the best and that they want the best for you. As J.D. Salinger once said:

I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.

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