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How To Deal With Psychopaths And Toxic People: 5 Proven Secrets, by Eric Barker

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Eric Barker's top tips:

  • Don’t. 1) Run. 2) Are you sure you can’t run?
  • Accept that some people are just bad news: A tiger is not a good house pet. And you will not change that fact.
  • Pay attention to actions, not words: No excuses. No BS. Use the “Rule of Threes.”
  • Build your reputation and relationships: You need a good defense and good advice.
  • Win-win agreements: Make it easier to go through you than to destroy you.

When in the middle of a deathmatch with a ruthless monster of a human being, being cynical is like having ESP. A jaded perspective can keep you one step ahead of them. But in the long term it can be toxic.

Don’t give up on all people just because you dealt with a really bad one.

Mother Nature has a sense of humor. On one hand you have psychopaths, who have zero empathy. On the other hand, there are people with Williams Syndrome. They have too much empathy. They trust everyone. They love everyone:

…kids and adults with Williams love people, and they are literally pathologically trusting. They have no social fear. Researchers theorize that this is probably because of a problem in their limbic system, the part of the brain that regulates emotion. There appears to be a disregulation in one of the chemicals (oxytocin) that signals when to trust and when to distrust. This means that it is essentially biologically impossible for kids like Isabelle to distrust.

Some people are too good, some too bad. And most of us are somewhere in the middle. Don’t let a bad experience with one person ruin the party.

From The Sociopath Next Door:

Do not allow someone without conscience, or even a string of such people, to convince you that humanity is a failure. Most human beings do possess conscience. Most human beings are able to love.

To have a happy life and a productive career, you may need to give up on particular people.

But that doesn’t mean you have to give up on people.

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