Area Man On Personal Mission To Explain Why Universally Enjoyed Things Are Bad | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
What a party pooper:
“At the end of the day, it isn’t right for the greater public to simply take pleasure in whatever they happen to like,” Lerner continued. “I can’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen.”
Among the many other widely beloved things that Lerner has reportedly made it his mission to invalidate are the original Star Wars trilogy, the Olympics, actor Daniel Day-Lewis, chocolate, the Beatles, Vincent van Gogh, central air-conditioning, and the Internet.
“People need to realize—and it is my objective to make them realize—that afternoons spent relaxing at the beach are completely overrated, as is summertime in general. And fall. All of the holidays, too—at least the major ones.”
