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86 Rules of Boozing

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Heavy drinking has as many or more social strictures around it than any other part of adult life -- with the possible exception of sex. Don't be a callow cad... learn some savoir faire, drunkie.

 My favorite is:

72. Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're hammered and they’re sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a physicist. 99.9% of the time you're wrong and either way you're going to come off as a jackass.

 14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.

You have to really dislike someone to say no to free booze.

I must respectfully disagree, sweetie.  Free drinks are often the most expensive ones, if offered by a douche.

Sorry tone didnt come off right. Im agreeing with the rule. My point was directed at the person buying and not getting the hint. 

True that.

I'm of the opinion that anyone who likes to drink isn't going to be able to remember 86 rules.

19. If you don't have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.Also, I grew up popping off beer bottle caps with plastic or edged devices.

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