Big dog:

Fixed:

Dogs are awesome.

Improved:

There's some debate about the cat petting chart:

It's like an abbreviated version of The Oatmeal: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/kitty_pet

Fixed:

Experts differ in opinion:

Fixed more:

Grumpy Cat version:

Grumpy Cat version, fixed:

This cat is beyond grumpy:

Hmmm...

This has taken a wrong turn...

Petting Chart for Owl:

Petting Chart for Men:

Women:

Rocky Horror...

MC Hammer:

Is this joke getting old yet?

Source:

http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/16upur/oh_yeah_wellthis_is_a_petting_chart_for_my_wife/

Seriously?

Petting chart for a horse:

Final word?

Okay, maybe a few more including bear and unicorn:

http://pandawhale.com/post/43114/15-charts-that-perfectly-illustrate-how-to-properly-pet-animals

And... More:

http://pandawhale.com/post/49888/how-to-pet-a-unicorn