There is a right way and a wrong way to poop in the woods (I'm not sure what wiping with a pine cone "with the grain" means, but it sounds pretty intense). There is a DIFFERENT right way to poop in the desert -- and it is called the "poop burrito".

Good advice.

Just remember toilet paper or you'll end up looking like this:

http://pandawhale.com/post/8019/whats-black-and-white-and-itchy-all-over