Illustrated: The Double Dog

The Fourth of July, high holy day of the hot dog, is upon us. It may seem the fourth marks the eternal return of barbecues and fireworks, a seasonality for those without fields to tend. But time's arrow shapes even the cookout. Here, we survey the year in hot dog innovation through patents filed since the last time we celebrated the nation's independence with fire and processed meat.

Let it never be said that our nation stood still while others carried forth the banner of progress.

Necessity is the mother of invention.

A Printing Press for Hot Dogs (Or Any Stick-Mounted Food Items)

"The cooking appliance includes a pair of opposed heated cooking plates. Each cooking plate includes a primary reservoir/cavity and a secondary reservoir/cavity for receiving the batter and the food item therein. The cooking plates are hinged together whereby the plates can be abutted together such that the reservoirs and the cavities create a cooking enclosure to cook the food item and the batter therein. A stick receiving bung retains the stick in an orientation such that the food item is coaxial with the primary reservoir. Each secondary reservoir includes raised and recessed surfaces which cooperative define a recognizable image. Upon pouring and cooking batter within the secondary reservoirs, this image is transferred to the outer surface of the cooked battered food item."

Freaking sweet!

Beware this page, for it is long and has several NSFW images:

http://pandawhale.com/post/3001

Hard to believe that was just one year ago.

Day: made.  I shall celebrate with a stick-mounted food item.

Okay, but please be careful.