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Google "Visually Similar Images" Fail

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We all know and love Google's reverse image search. It helps us find the original sources of images from the web, and, even more importantly, helps us discover the names those anonymous hot chicks we find on Tumblr.

However, their reverse image search has some big problems determining which images are "visually similar." Seriously, sometimes the matchings are off-the-fucking-charts retarded.

Exhibit A: 3-up of what appears to be an aging pit bull terrier vs. smoking hot Brazilian model/artist Carol Seleme

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Exhibit B: Pipe cleaner muscle man vs. some hot Asian chick in conservative underwear

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Exhibit C: fit dark-skinned woman's torso vs. close-up of amateur R&B crooner's girly mug

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Exhibit D: Nerdy Easter Sunday schoolgirl vs. barefoot public restroom turboslut

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Exhibit E: Wuttup dawg!

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Exhibit F: Porky football bro vs. vaguely Down syndrome-y anime spellcaster girl

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Exhibit G: 8-out-of-10 Sears catalogue handbag model vs. Southern Baptist orca

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Exhibit H: Nightmare on Aborigine Street vs. the wristwatch your ex-girlfriend who worked at Macy's gave you for Christmas one year

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Exhibit I: Zooey Deschanel vs King Kong with a propeller hat and a hot dog

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Exhibit J: Cute black girl vs. fucked up Japanese furry fetish sexual fantasy creature

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Exhibit K: Perfect 10-out-of-10 vs. KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

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Exhibit L: "Welcome to the party!" vs. "Get lost, penis!"

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Exhibit M: breasts vs. breastfeeder

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Exhibit N: "Grilled Cheese, Nigga" vs... Dalai Lama?

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Exhibit O: Curvy Nubian Sex Goddess vs. Demon Cat

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Exhibit P: Booty Girl vs. Disturbed Youngster

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Exhibit Q: Just in case the last example of "young boy looks like hot woman" wasn't enough

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Exhibit R: Juicy Juice Kitten vs. bottle of lemon juice

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Exhibit S: Insane booty vs. broken-down old dog

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Exhibit T: dat ass

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Exhibit U: FAIL

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Exhibit V: Stunning vs. Stunnas

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Exhibit W: Beautiful woman vs. homely young child with pigtails

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Exhibit X: Fitness professional Alice Matos vs. what appears to be a broken bicycle

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Exhibit Y: Not so much a fail, but this one is interesting because it matched the woman on the left to Eva Longoria. I think she actually looks more like Jessica Burciaga.

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Exhibit Z: Thick shower babe vs. suspected killer Joseph Hunter

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QED

MOAR FAIL!

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu perving on ultrahot Instagram girl Mia Valerio.

Benjamin Netanyahu skeezing on Mia Valerio

On another note, try typing whale tail into google image search to find pictures of whales. It won't work.

In fact, most of the English language is double-entendre'd in the Internet age.

I can tell they too heavily weight color, though actually some of those image similarities are sublime. Everything's connected.

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