I hate you!

Never in all of my years have I seen someone this excited to take a shit.

Thank you, Charmin bears. I'm sure the rabbit appreciates not being used, too.

See also the Reddit thread on Epic dumps:

My entire body tingled. I felt lighter. I was covered in sweat, and breathing heavily. I felt high, delirious, in shock and awe. Great waves of increasing euphoria washed over me. Feelings of amazing pleasure I simply cannot describe. I felt as if I was bathing in a golden light of goodness. This was a transcending event. I felt like I had just touched the universe itself.

Maybe there are some things we shouldn't ask Reddit.