17. That reminds me, the 2013 Jaguars actually have an "out" — they could make their season 10,000 times more interesting by signing Tebow (a hometown hero, no less), starting him for the next three months, selling a few million dollars' worth of Tebow jerseys to thousands of fans sporting Tebowners no matter how it plays out, and hopefully — repeat: hopefully — ending up with the league's worst record anyway. Then again, if their goal is to bottom out NBA-style for Bridgewater, that's a dangerous plan. Tebow won nine of 17 games as an NFL starter (including an OT playoff game). Gabbert has won just five of his 26 starts.

So if you're scoring at home: (a) Tebow is an above-.500 starting QB (it's true), and (b) Gabbert has as many career NFL victories as Claire Danes has creepy, keeping-her-bra-on sex scenes in Homeland. For Play Dead for Ted purposes, the Jags are better off with Blaine.

Yes, why NOT sign Tebow? Come on Jaguars, you know you want to!

There's no one in this upcoming draft who's worth tanking for.

Plus, Tebow will be EXCITING.

Look how exciting the Browns were for two weeks while Hoyer the Destroyer was at the helm!

<weeps>

You like the Jaguars? Their new quarterback Blake Bortles looks quite good.

And their new receiver Allen Hurns looks excellent.

And Brian Hoyer the Destroyer is back for the Browns!