Source: http://www.sbnation.com/nfl/2013/11/14/5...

Upon arrival at #GronkFest2013, I am handed a beautiful baby pink "Rob Gronkowski Football 101 Women's Clinic" t-shirt. We are instructed to wear it over any outerwear we have on. Picture 100 women wearing baby pink long-sleeve t-shirts over hoodies and actual coats, looking like lumpy, stale cotton candy. (It's worse than whatever you're picturing.) We enrollees had received an email earlier in the week telling us, in big bold letters, "GYM SHOES ARE REQUIRED, DO NOT WEAR HEELS," so all of the women wore gym clothes. This is probably unfortunate for those ladies who spent the $99 just to see if they could get Gronk's attention. It might have been difficult to stand out, anyway, as there is a huge array of women, ranging in age and personality, including one woman pregnant with twins and a middle-aged woman with Patriots temporary tattoos on her face.

The event information promised that "Gronk-tinis" would be served, and I made it my first mission to find out what's in that drink. I am greatly disappointed to find out that it's not just four ounces of warm tequila in a martini glass. Raspberry vodka and pomegranate juice? Excuse me bartender, there is no Gronk in my drink. And where is my Percocet-rimmed glass?

Includes the host asking "what is a tight end?" and Gronk turning around, wiggling his butt, and yelling " THIS IS A TIGHT END!" The women go ballistic; I begin to question my life choices. There's really no tequila in this Gronk-tini? How?