It is disconcerting to read how arrogance, manipulation, and traits we try to steer our children (and ourselves) away from have some value in terms of some metrics like salary or the nebulous "success" metric. I'm not buying it.  We all end up in the same place in the end and what do the arrogant, manipulative or mean leave in their wake (no pun intended) relative to the more balanced, kinder folks? Not much.

Perhaps it is not a choice. Perhaps they are just trying to be their true selves?

The best leaders are a balance:

Not too assertive, but not too passive. They must balance kindness and toughness:

“If you’re too soft—no matter how competent and able you are—people may not respect your authority. But if you only have dominance and you don’t have great ideas, and you use force to stay in power, then people will resent you,” he concludes. “Being successful as a leader requires one to have both dominance and prestige.”