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How To Have A Great Relationship: 5 Words You Need To Remember

Stashed in: #greatness, Words!, Relationships, Calvin and Hobbes!, Trust, @bakadesuyo, Awesome, The Internet is my religion., Relationships

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"You're right. I'm wrong. I'm sorry."

Wait, that's six words. 

Eric Barker says to remember the five R's:

I’ve posted a lot about the research behind what makes relationships work — and not work.

How can you remember what all these studies have to say?

Just keep the 5 R’s in mind:

  1. Right
  2. Real
  3. Rapport
  4. Relate
  5. Review

Let’s break them down...

Real = Authentic + Trustworthy = the one that resonated most with me

Read more:

Nice. My new definition of success is "The people I care about increasing their trust in me, and being rewarded for it."

Is the reward for increasing their trust in you that you give more trust in them?

Not necessarily.  The primary metric is that their trust in me is justified, i.e., that I deliver along whatever dimension they are trusting me for.  I find this a useful frame for evaluating how well I am doing vis-a-vis family members, friends, customers, co-workers, etc.  

* Do they trust me more after this interaction? 

* Am I delivering value commensurate with that increased trust?

That tells me that the essence of any good relationship is commitment and follow-through.

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