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From Martha Stewart's AMA. I am fucking deceased. X__X

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From Martha Stewart's AMA. I am fucking deceased. X__X http://t.co/qT3ymbEJwQ
11:51 AM Mar 06 2014

Stashed in: Reddit!, @snoopdogg, Orange is the New Black

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Martha Stewart did a Reddit AMA and she has a very forthright fan who breaks down why M-Steez is prime wifey material. COMEDY GOLD

Martha Fucking Stewart! The whole AMA is worth perusing for gems...

http://reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1zqn4d/im_martha_stewart_ask_me_almost_anything_its_a/

Favorites below.

Mariella Mosthof of The Braiser has Martha's dozen best answers:

Fun fact: Martha doesn’t shy away from prison questions! Now we’re dying for her Orange is the New Blackcameo. Here are her 12 best answers.

On her South Park episode: “I thought it was really cute!”

Her best sex advice: “Always take a bath before and after.”

And on copulating during bath time: “That’s good too, and don’t forget to brush your teeth.”

On what it’s like being friends with Snoop: “I wish I were closer friends with Snoop Dogg.”

On whether she has prison tats: “I would not EVER, EVER deface my body with tattoos.”

On the bastardization that is truffle oil: “I think truffle oil is one of the few ingredients that doesn’t belong in anyone’s kitchen. It is ruinous of most recipes.”

On her favorite Martha Stewart impersonator: “There have been many. None of which are very accurate or flattering. But Ana Gasteyer on SNL did a good job.”

On whether she had a prison nickname: “I think I did, but I can’t remember. I don’t think about the past.”

From the author of My Boyfriend Barfed In My Handbag … And Other Things You Can’t Ask Martha: “Okay, here goes: 1. How do you clean a steel riveted leather harness used for a strap-on dildo? 2. What’s the best way to remove skidmarks (left during sexual relations) from Pratesi sheets? 3. How can you clean semen stains off of a green velour recliner?” Martha’s answer: “What’s a dildo?”

On running in 2016: “Sounds like a good idea, but I think there will be another strong woman candidate.”

Favorite celebrity: “Pharrell Williams. He’s so cute. I’ve actually seen him in person and adore his good humor.”

On prison food: “There was nothing remarkable about the food at all.”

(Also, in case you were wondering about the answer to that harness question…We know. Leather’s a bitch.)

Martha Stewart's sense of humor gives me newfound respect for her.

Plus, Martha likes Snoop Dogg and Pharrell Williams?!

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