The 90s were the worst decade for fashion. Do not revive!
Adam Rifkin stashed this in Couture
How were the 90s terrible for fashion?
Oh, let me count the ways, perhaps in a series of haikus:Look! My Hypercolour T-shirt changes colour where I sweat Like my mood ring The point? I know not. My hair, ironed so flat And then blown out, like Rachel's Better than copying Ross, I guess. Dungarees! So full of sass But the one strap must be undone. That's what makes them cool. According to Will Smith. Sportswear is sexy! That's what we claim, putting on our tracksuit bottoms And cropped tops. Just like Britney. And Mel C. Denim – oh! So much denim. Jeans now cost £200. Who would have thought? Pull your thong up over the waistband. Awesome Slip dress, slip dress, it's just a little slip of a dress Worn with giant Dr Martens. Because I'm such a badass. Anyone got a cardigan?
That's enough culture for one day, but I feel my point is made. The 80s had bad clothes – no question – but the clothes were at least deliberate statements, from batwings to shoulder pads, and they often related to sociological and cultural issues, whether it was feminism or music. In the 90s, there were fashion trends that had connections to what was happening in the music world (well, grunge anyway. B*witched is no excuse for the 90s obsession with denim so don't even try that). But mainly what we all wore in the 90s was inexcusable crap – not fashion, not statements, just crap. Skirts over trousers? Floral dresses over jeans? Pierced tongues? No excuses for any of it, I tell you, not one.
You want to know how bad the 90s were for fashion? Even I don't sentimentalise them, and I sentimentalise everything, from crap 80s Chevy Chase comedies I saw as a kid to crap 1990s film soundtracks I liked as a teenager (Lisa Loeb, Sixpence None the Richer, the Cardigans – you are not forgotten).
(Secretly hoping this look comes back)
The 70s have character! Is that Abba??
Yes! And unlike most of you, I lived through the polyester 70's! I had a dress made of fabric that I can only descibe as "thick."
But now that's retro. It's kitschy. It's nostalgia!
Here's a tribute to pants of the 70s, when it was difficult to have an eye-to-eye conversation with a man:
Oh geez. Turquoise AND aqua?!