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The Benjamin Franklin Effect: The Surprising Psychology of How to Handle Haters | Brain Pickings


The Benjamin Franklin Effect The Surprising Psychology of How to Handle Haters Brain Pickings

“He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.”

Source: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2...

Stashed in: #kindness, Relationships, Awesome, Haters!, Friends!, Trolling!, @brainpicker, Relationships, Benjamin Franklin, Jack Black, Leadership

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Franklin, born one of seventeen children to poor parents, entered this world — despite his parents’ and society’s priorities in his favor relative to his siblings — with very low odds of becoming an educated scientist, gentleman, scholar, entrepreneur, and, perhaps most of all, a man of significant political power. To compensate for his unfavorable givens, he quickly learned formidable people skills and became “a master of the game of personal politics.” McRaney writes:

Like many people full of drive and intelligence born into a low station, Franklin developed strong people skills and social powers. All else denied, the analytical mind will pick apart behavior, and Franklin became adroit at human relations. From an early age, he was a talker and a schemer, a man capable of guile, cunning, and persuasive charm. He stockpiled a cache of secret weapons, one of which was the Benjamin Franklin effect, a tool as useful today as it was in the 1730s and still just as counterintuitive.

[…]

At age twenty-one, he formed a “club of mutual improvement” called the Junto. It was a grand scheme to gobble up knowledge. He invited working-class polymaths like him to have the chance to pool together their books and trade thoughts and knowledge of the world on a regular basis. They wrote and recited essays, held debates, and devised ways to acquire currency. Franklin used the Junto as a private consulting firm, a think tank, and he bounced ideas off the other members so he could write and print better pamphlets. Franklin eventually founded the first subscription library in America, writing that it would make “the common tradesman and farmers as intelligent as most gentlemen from other countries,” not to mention give him access to whatever books he wanted to buy.

This is where his eponymous effect comes into play: When Franklin ran for his second term as a clerk, a peer whose name he never mentions in his autobiography delivered a long election speech censuring Franklin and tarnishing his reputation. Although Franklin won, he was furious with his opponent and, observing that this was “a gentleman of fortune and education” who might one day come to hold great power in government, rather concerned about future frictions with him.

The troll had to be tamed, and tamed shrewdly. McRaney writes:

Franklin set out to turn his hater into a fan, but he wanted to do it without “paying any servile respect to him.” Franklin’s reputation as a book collector and library founder gave him a standing as a man of discerning literary tastes, so Franklin sent a letter to the hater asking if he could borrow a specific selection from his library, one that was a “very scarce and curious book.” The rival, flattered, sent it right away. Franklin sent it back a week later with a thank-you note. Mission accomplished. The next time the legislature met, the man approached Franklin and spoke to him in person for the first time. Franklin said the man “ever after manifested a readiness to serve me on all occasions, so that we became great friends, and our friendship continued to his death.”

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So he turned the hater into a fan by asking for a favor? Cool.

Counterintuitive to ask rather than to give.

Counterintuitive but it makes sense. Someone willing to do a favor for you can't hate you.

What's interesting is that the hater could have been appalled and said no.

But he wasn't appalled, and he did the favor.

i like the way it is written: not the taming of the shrew, but the shrewd taming of the troll!

and here's where i get to show one of my favorite franklin videos...

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/154bc4bd1b/drunk-history-vol-25-featuring-jack-black-from-drunk-history-jack-black-derekwaters-and-jeremykonner

Wow, Jack Black was hilarious in that!

hahaha!  so funny!  i love it when he comes to her outside her window while she's playing the harp!

Yes, that was excellent!

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