What exactly does reappraisal involve? Participants were asked to think about the biggest disagreement they had experienced with their spouse in the last 4 months. They were then asked to write about it from three different angles:

1. First, they wrote about it from the perspective of a neutral and objective third-party who wishes to bring out the best out in the situation.

2. Second, they wrote about any obstacles they foresee coming up when attempting to take a neutral, third-party stance in disagreements with their partners.

3. Third, they wrote about how they might best go about adopting this neutral, third-party perspective in future disagreements and how this kind of perspective could help them transform disagreements into more positive experiences.

As expected, the couples who did not go through the intervention kept experiencing a decline in marital satisfaction.

A lot of people cannot on their own figure out what a neutral third party would say.

This is why so many couples spend so much money on couples therapy. 

And if they go to couples therapy and the therapist doesn't say what one of the couple *thinks* a neutral third party would say, then it's off to find a new therapist.

I'm beginning to think there's a LOT of money to be made in couples therapy.