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On Marrying the Wrong Person | The Book of Life

On Marrying the Wrong Person The Book of Life


How do the errors happen? With appalling ease and regularity. Given that marrying the wrong person is about the single easiest and also costliest mistake any of us can make (and one which places an enormous burden on the state, employers and the next generation), it is extraordinary, and almost criminal, that the issue of marrying intelligently is not more systematically addressed at a national and personal level, as road safety or smoking are.

It’s all the sadder because in truth, the reasons why people make the wrong choices are easy to lay out and unsurprising in their structure. They tend to fall into some of the following basic categories.

One: We don’t understand ourselves

Two: We don’t understand other people

Three: We aren’t used to being happy

Four: Being single is so awful

Five: Instinct has too much prestige

Six: We don’t go to Schools of Love

Seven: We want to freeze happiness

Eight: We believe we are special

Nine: We want to stop thinking about Love

Stashed in: Awesome, Marilyn Monroe, Marriage, Love

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Good wisdom.

Yes, why is marriage something not more systematically addressed?

IMHO - it's not marriage which is systematically ignored but relationships. We inherit our relationship perspectives from our parents and then get an additional set of impositions from the culture we live in. We have to be very ornery to go out side those bounds and explore other perspectives. This is some core cultural stuff which people rarely question. From my experience, when you go down this road - friends and family will have some words to say.

Yeah, it's tough because everyone has an opinion.

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