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5 Secrets to Dealing With Regret, According to Research | TIME

Stashed in: Regret, @bakadesuyo, Awesome, Happiness

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We regret things we should have done but didn’t do. The areas that top the list are education, career and romance. Not spending enough time with friends and family is up there too. The dying had these regrets:

– I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

– I wish I didn’t work so hard.

– I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

– I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

– I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Oh, you mean invoking daily gratitude... yeah, that works very well.

However, I've never been comforted by considering the misfortunes of those perceived to be less than myself regarding my own status, desires, physicality or place in line...though I can see how that simplistic nostrum can work for some people.  But that's a dangerous practice in my opinion...

To me cultivating that type of gratitude only engenders superficial circumspection and shallow contrition for hubris... sure, it might help someone whistle past the graveyard, but it'll bring no comfort when staring up the butt-hole of one's own oblivion and doom.

As to the above points of real deathbed regrets, yes – the many who've shared insight with me on their own personal demise have never regretted not having more things: only experiences and time with loved ones mattered.

That's apparently the best recipe for making an everyday life without regrets ...

As long as you don't get caught up trying to make too many experiences. 

Time together is more important than optimizing experiences.

As for assuaging daily regret, it's less about being comforted by the misfortunes of others.

It's more about realizing how good you have it. 

"It's more about realizing how good you have it."  You still mean by making comparisons, right?  This might work as long as you also don't look at the others who are doing much, much better than you are...?  

This might be a challenging heuristic for working stiffs in Silicon Valley to adopt... as well as folks who are just a little more ambivalent about life's circumstances...

It's more about realizing how good you have it compared with how bad you could have it.

It's not about others. It's about yourself. Others just offer you a way to get out of your own head.

The Dickens you say!? Scrooged again...

bill murray now I have to kill all of you gif imgur tumblr

bill murray it's great it's a good feeling it's really better than I've felt in a long time gif imgur tumblr

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