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Key and Peele make a feminist pirate chantey

Stashed in: Pirates!, Key and Peele, Hilarity

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I have never heard the phrase "feminist pirate shanty" before. 

The setting is the interior of a vessel and a group of pirates are singing sea shanties--which turn out to be very feminist--to pass the time.

Here are the lyrics so you can sing along:

I once met a lass so fine

She was drunk on Barley Wine

I'd been at sea for month's a three

I knew I could make her mine

And the lass was past consent

So it was off with her

So we threw her to bed

and let her rest her head

'Cause that's what gentlemen do!


A woman has the right to a drink or two

Without worrying about what you will do!


We say 'Yo Ho!' but we don't say 'ho'!

Because 'ho' is disrespectful, yo!


There was once a girl from Leeds!

Who I heard was good on her knees!

I docked my ship on an overnight trip

to take care of all my needs

She was fine as the tales did tell

And my mast began to swell!

So I laid her down and raised her gown

And performed cunnilingus for an hour or so!



Always take care of your lady fair!

'Cause they deserve as much attention down there!



I once had a woman so fair

Whose womb contained my heir

With a son by my side

the seas we'd ride

The child she would bear.

My girl, she was no fool;

she was working her way through school

So I showed support when she chose to abort

Because it was her body and therefore her choice



We don't say booty unless we talk about gold.

We don't look at chest 'lest they treasure hold.

With a hat and a feather and a cutlass on our hip,

We will never say 'she' when we're talkin' 'bout our ship!

We don't say 'bitch' and we don't say 'whore'

Because that language leads to things like body dysmorphiaaaaa!

Knife throw into wall


There was a lady with a golden eye!

The doctor said she'll die!

So she emptied her purse

To lift her curse

and prayed she stayed alive

She awoke the very next day,

Hand in her grave she lay,

The scariest part

from the start

was that you assumed the doctor was a man!

throws knife that accidentally impales a man



Women can be doctors too!

And for a fraction of doubloons!



There was a slut with tits to here!

And an ass like--

Righteous gunshot

the man drops dead

A woman assumed to be the captain drops down from the rafters and blows the soke flintlock in hand

All the men stand at attention as she descends and walks towards the stage to the tune of an intense cello score.

Her alone:

'Cause it's 'Yo ho!' but we don't say 'ho'


'Cause 'ho' is disrespectful, yo!


"We don't say 'bitch' and we don't say 'whore'

Because that language leads to things like body dysmorphiaaaaa!"

Knife throw into wall

:) :) :)

Key and Peele know what they're doing. :)

Yeah, love it, thanks for reminding.  :)


Did you mean to put it with Key & Peele?

Yeah for some reason this shanty reminds me of that page. 

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