Key and Peele make a feminist pirate chantey
Geege Schuman stashed this in Key & Peele
The setting is the interior of a vessel and a group of pirates are singing sea shanties--which turn out to be very feminist--to pass the time.
Here are the lyrics so you can sing along:
I once met a lass so fine
She was drunk on Barley Wine
I'd been at sea for month's a three
I knew I could make her mine
And the lass was past consent
So it was off with her
So we threw her to bed
and let her rest her head
'Cause that's what gentlemen do!
A woman has the right to a drink or two
Without worrying about what you will do!
We say 'Yo Ho!' but we don't say 'ho'!
Because 'ho' is disrespectful, yo!
There was once a girl from Leeds!
Who I heard was good on her knees!
I docked my ship on an overnight trip
to take care of all my needs
She was fine as the tales did tell
And my mast began to swell!
So I laid her down and raised her gown
And performed cunnilingus for an hour or so!
Always take care of your lady fair!
'Cause they deserve as much attention down there!
I once had a woman so fair
Whose womb contained my heir
With a son by my side
the seas we'd ride
The child she would bear.
My girl, she was no fool;
she was working her way through school
So I showed support when she chose to abort
Because it was her body and therefore her choice
We don't say booty unless we talk about gold.
We don't look at chest 'lest they treasure hold.
With a hat and a feather and a cutlass on our hip,
We will never say 'she' when we're talkin' 'bout our ship!
We don't say 'bitch' and we don't say 'whore'
Because that language leads to things like body dysmorphiaaaaa!
Knife throw into wall
There was a lady with a golden eye!
The doctor said she'll die!
So she emptied her purse
To lift her curse
and prayed she stayed alive
She awoke the very next day,
Hand in her grave she lay,
The scariest part
from the start
was that you assumed the doctor was a man!
throws knife that accidentally impales a man
Women can be doctors too!
And for a fraction of doubloons!
There was a slut with tits to here!
And an ass like--
the man drops dead
A woman assumed to be the captain drops down from the rafters and blows the soke flintlock in hand
All the men stand at attention as she descends and walks towards the stage to the tune of an intense cello score.
'Cause it's 'Yo ho!' but we don't say 'ho'
'Cause 'ho' is disrespectful, yo!
"We don't say 'bitch' and we don't say 'whore'
Because that language leads to things like body dysmorphiaaaaa!"
Knife throw into wall
:) :) :)
Key and Peele know what they're doing. :)
P.S. Have you seen this?
Yeah, love it, thanks for reminding. :)
Did you mean to put it with Key & Peele?
Yeah for some reason this shanty reminds me of that page.