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The Abridged History Of Disney, 2015–2040 AD

Stashed in: Star Wars!, Disney!, Pixar, Awesome, Avengers!, Toy Story!, Indiana Jones, Robert Downey Jr., Incredibles!, Illusion of Choice, LEGO Movie, Guardians of the Galaxy, @prattprattpratt, Marvel!, Inside Out, Finding Nemo

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A sampling:

February 3rd, 2017,

What it's like to see the Thor: Ragnarok trailer before everyone else in 235 GIFS

May 24th, 2017

Star Wars: Episode VIII review: like my favorite Breaking Bad episodes... but in space!

June 4th, 2017

Why Toy Story 4 is the best Toy Story yet: an explainer

June 17th, 2017

The Guardians of the Galaxy post-post-post-credits scene will blow your fanboy mind

The best part for me was recasting Chris Pratt as Indiana Jones and then as Han Solo in the Star Wars reboot, and then eventually licensing his voice and likeness for $1.5 billion so they can keep featuring him in movies even after he retires. 

Even after he's DEAD.

LOL, that's right...

Chris Pratt's coterie of characters has reliably earned Disney millions for over 15 years, but Disney has an unprecedented plan to build a new revenue stream out of Pratt himself.

Ten years after Disney purchased the image, voice, and "soul" rights from then-star, now-Harrison-Ford-esque-recluse Robert Downey Jr. for a cool $1 billion, the studio has announced the acquisition of the same rights from Chris Pratt for $1.5 billion. Pratt, whose image in The Littlest Jedis of the Galaxy, is one of Disney's most valuable commodities as the lead in the Guardians of the Galaxy television programs and the rebooted Indiana Jones and Star Wars franchises.

To celebrate the acquisition, Disney has announced Apple AR owners will have the ability to be perceived as their favorite Chris Pratt characters by other Apple AR owners using a novel app that wraps their body in a head-to-toe, lifelike animation.

While Pratt could not be reached for comment, his representatives say the actor doesn't believe the acquisition will discourage him from taking real life roles, likely a reaction to Robert Downey Jr.'s recent behavior. Downey Jr. was last spotted by paparazzi in 2028, boiling his boots in the backwoods of Claire Danes' Big Sur property. Danes, reportedly, had no idea that the actor had been there for the last 13 months prior.

"Boot stew," Downey Jr. is reported to have said, before retreating into his RV and taking off for parts unknown.

Reverse nostalgia?

More like mocking the fact that Disney owns Marvel, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and Pixar, and will be milking all of their franchises as much as possible for the foreseeable future. 

Disney studios release schedule 2015 to 2017 meme Imgur

Found in comments here:

Also in those comments: Finding Dory, Incredibles 2, Cars 3, Toy Story 4.

Pixar coming soon movie posters Finding Dory, Incredibles 2, Cars 3, Toy Story 4 Imgur

It's a pretty impressive array of brands for them.

Agreed, and I had forgotten that they own Winnie the Pooh and the Muppets too:

The joke of the article Geege stashed is that eventually Disney will own everyone. 


June 2nd, 2035

California passes bill that will allows Disney's genetically engineered characters to rebuild Los Angeles under condition of strict regulations

If that's the world 20 years from now, I will consider it a fail.

Well, it follows this:

BREAKING: Large, but brief quake turns LA into giant sinkhole

Which could happen any time, really.

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