The Confidence Factor for Women: The worst 4-letter word, by Carol Sankar, LinkedIn
Masha Yudin stashed this in Career - women
More on not using the word "just" :"Recently, I attended a symposium and an attendee sitting in the front of the room seemed so excited to have the opportunity to pitch her product to a major investor. When the capital group walked in the room, with assurance she stated that she "just" needed $10,000 to get her concept off of the ground. She literally omitted herself from the conversation as the investment panel stated, "our investments start at $300,000 so I am sorry that we would not be interested." They immediately shouted "next!"
To think, such a small word ended the conversation
By thinking that asking for something small is much more realistic and simple than asking for bigger opportunities and/or money will plague your success. "
Was it the word JUST the problem or was the panel just not understanding her?
I think it was her attitude. The panel was set to invest $300,000 and up, so her "just 10,000" completely missed the mark. Probably she had assumed that asking for less with make her more attractive, but the opposite had happened.
I am curious if the author was influenced by the earlier article on "just" word...
May 29, 2015 - ... with which the word “just” appeared in email and conversation from female co-workers ... Is Your Career Affected By the Clothes You Wear?
Workplace advice for women not to use the word 'just' is ...www.businessinsider.com/workplace-advice-for-women-...
Jul 9, 2015 - The problem here isn't the women who hedge their words; it's the ... In some contexts 'just' does do the job of a hedge, but in others it acts as a ...
The One Word You Should Never Say at Work ~ Levo Leaguewww.levo.com/articles/career-advice/words-women-use-at-work
Jul 13, 2015 - Words women use at work could be hurting their careers. ... “'Just' often shows up right in the beginning, when you say you're just checking in ...
Yeah, I think we should all remove the word JUST from our vocabulary.
I understand how the woman feels. It's easy to have our confidence shaken.
I am not sure this is about confidence. At least it is not for me. For me it is more about "powerless communication" per Adam Grant. Women are wired to strive to be liked. http://blogs.worldbank.org/publicsphere/power-powerless-communication-how-influence-others-softly
I agree that powerless communication is important and useful.
How do we “win others over” using powerless communication? Grant suggests the following:
- Instead of maintaining a veneer of perfection and high achievements, be open about your vulnerabilities and imperfections. Be authentic and even self-deprecating at times. People are more likely to open up to others similar to themselves. When they no longer feel that you are attempting to pressure them, they may let their guard down.
- Use less forthright statements and more tentative language. Frame your opinions as suggestions or questions. This shows that you have others’ best interests in mind.
- Rather than giving answers, seek help and advice. Advice-seeking prompts others to commit to you—often subconsciously. Nadler et al’s research even shows that individuals who regularly seek advice and help from knowledgeable colleagues are perceived more favorably, compared to those who never do so. But, here is the catch: advice-seeking only works if it is genuine.
Adam Grant's TED Talk: