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How to Be Charming: 2 Secrets Backed by Research and TIME

Stashed in: Relationships, @bakadesuyo, Communication

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What have we learned:

  • Celebrating someone’s good times is the key to connecting with them.
  • Little psychology tips are great but really feeling it can make all the difference.
  • We all get envious and it hurts relationships.
  • Benign envy is about knowing you can achieve what they did. (And it’s a great motivator.)
  • Meditation has been shown to help you be more compassionate and beat envy.

Computers are not known for being good at love, relationships or being charming (sorry, Siri). But they know about envy. And they know it’s not a good idea.

Computers were assigned strategies in the famous “prisoner’s dilemma” and for thousands of rounds they faced each other to see which method led to the most success. When they distilled the learnings from the exercise what was the first insight?

“Don’t be envious.”

So, for just a second, forget the little relationship tips and shortcuts. Instead, be the good, sincere person the tips are showing you how to be.

And take a little quiet time to wish people the best. It might be the best tip there is.

'Charming' in action: Calling a store manager to give a compliment. It's a simple thing to do and takes the same amount of time as calling to complain.

That's a good idea, Marlene. I will do that. 

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