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Help! My fiancee has $90,000 in student loans. Should I call off the wedding?


Stashed in: Poverty, Personal Finance, Debt, Credit

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A reminder to be thoughtful when combining finances:

There are many circumstances in which your boyfriend’s debts may be discharged. Having a child is not among them except, Kantrowitz says, if the child is a special needs child who requires expensive care. They include: Teacher loan forgiveness, which is intended to encourage graduates to take teaching jobs; public service loan forgiveness where borrowers may qualify for forgiveness of the remaining balance of their loans after making 120 qualifying payments on those loans while employed full time by certain public service employers; if the school misled students on job placement rates as we have seen happen with several for-profit colleges; and, in only very rare cases where you can prove undue hardship, bankruptcy.

There is a bigger question here. Married and engaged couples often say they’ll do one thing when it comes to their joint finances, and then do another. Some 51% of engaged couples said they intend to equally share financial decisions, but only 37% of married respondents said they actually share the responsibility equally, according to a survey carried out by information management services company TransUnion of 1,000 people engaged to be married within 12 months. (And, while we’re on the subject, only one-quarter check their partner’s credit score before walking down the aisle.) Can you put a price on this love? You may have to, and the price tag might be $90,000. If and when you marry, your vows will likely say “till death — not debt — do we part.”