I wonder if it would make me faster too. 

One way to find out!

Do I eat it or apply it to my skin?

:)

If you eat it it might make you more buoyant, but I don't think it will make you faster. Here's how it works with the swordfish: 

According to new experiments published today in the Journal of Experimental Biology, the swordfish has an oil-producing gland at the base of its bill, or sword. As the animal swims, this gland pumps a cocktail of fatty acids to its skin through a network of tiny capillaries and pores. (See "Why a Swordfish’s Sword Doesn’t Break.")

The scientists believe the oil creates a water-repelling layer across the front of the swordfish’s head, thereby allowing the predator to reduce drag and slip through the sea more easily.

Noice. I need an oil producing gland. 

It would need to be at the base of your bill.

Lol at the panda with a unicorn horn!

Perhaps I can just buy Fish Lube?

Do not Google Fish Lube!  

Thank you for the warning!