How do you know you're a sports nut? You read and re-read loopy essays like this one about the hairstyles of injured NBA stars Andrew Bynum and Steve Nash, nodding at every sentence and feeling like the author captured the elusive essence of an issue known only to sports nuts.

Why does hair matter so much??? I thought a shaved head is more aerodynamic!

And thanks for putting this song in my head, Grantland.