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Dr. Gottman's Four Negative Patterns That Predict Divorce |

Stashed in: Emotion, Communication, life, Psychology!, Marriage, @andersoncooper

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No surprises here:

1. Criticism.

2. Contempt.

3. Defensiveness.

4. The Silent Treatment.

The real question is why couples are so prone to falling into negative communication patterns.

apathy and anger?

Yes. So why are those emotions so easy for people to embrace?




"Yes. So why are those emotions so easy for people to embrace?"  Gottman says that these feelings constitue an "absorbing state."  Here's a blog post that might lead to greater understanding:

Thank you. Thoughts become actions:

"There is therefore a distinct and deterministic pathway toward loyalty and a very different distinct pathway toward betrayal. Once we see these two pathways clearly we can both prevent betrayal and know how to heal a relationship after a betrayal."