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Why is it so hard to find the time?

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Why is it so hard to find time to socialize, or start your own projects?

I'm currently working as a freelance in a small company. I'm currently in charge of being editor (and part writer, sometimes) of 3 Apple related blogs, and around 7 or 8 other smaller sites. I'm also in charge of "traffic increase": improving SEO (although my boss knows more about SEO than even I do), social network buzzing, commenting. My final goal is an increase in revenue, anyway, thus I also need to tweak ads, find better advertisers, A/B test all out.

This is hugely time consuming. I'm currently in a 14 workhour schedule, more or less (today, less, around 10 hours), but even when part of these duties go back to the guy I'm covering for holidays (the writing part and a big deal of the editorial), this can eat a huge junk of time. And I have other work commitments (nowadays, finishing my PhD, but soon this may change with another more "full time" work).

How do you find time to do everything you need to do? Like socializing (here, Twitter, Real Life xD), learning (as in learning by failing... shameless plug: post over my blog about failing), and all these small seeds where huge acorns will grow? (I'm paraphrasing Nobel prize physicist Dick Feynman here).

Anyway, hello everybody in my first "full" convo here.

By the way, what does the "who can see this: everyone/eng" do? I'm an eng, but who is not an eng?

Do you watch TV? :)

Is your point that socialization cuts into television time?

There is *always* more time, it's just how we choose to spend it.

When I hear people say "I don't have time to do xxxx" (VERY common excuse in Silicon Valley) what they really mean is that they aren't willing to prioritize that task high enough. It's not important enough to them to unlodge something else they are spending time on. Which is fine btw, I'm not making a judgement call on what people spend their time on, just pointing out that it's really about prioritization, not the number of hours in a week.

The easy example that I find that solidifies this point is TV. Most people spend many hours per week watching it. Choosing to spend TV time differently is a great way to reclaim many hours per week.

Prioritising is not the solution. When all things are equal, time just is the limiting factor. Of course, I could prioritise higher interacting, but it would be in expense of coding, for example. I could give greater priority to reading, but may be in exchange for sleeping.

And no, I don't watch TV a lot. The Simpsons while having lunch and Dr Who with supper.

There can only be one thing that's number one in your life.

Everything else will always have less access to your time.

Bakadesuyo is fond of saying we humans are bad multitaskers.

So whatever is consuming most of your time IS your highest priority, by definition.

Everything else we do only when we have a little spare time, and as a result, it always seems like there is never enough time.

One life. One priority.

I'm not an eng :(

You're not an eng, but you're busy. How do you find the time to socialize?

And by the way, this, like every convo on 106miles.net, is public to the world.

I tend to try to kill as many birds with one stone as I can. So let's say I know I will be in SF because I have plans with one set of friends there, and then I'll get notified by others that they're also in SF. I think to myself "WINNING!" if I can then get them all to one place and socializing together.

The pros of this strategy are then I have friends that were in separate circles now being friendly with each other, and more inclined to hang out with each other on their own in the future. Which means less planning for me, because they'll do it organically and then tell me "Oh hey we're at this place, join us!" and if I'm nearby and able, I will.

And then I get to maximize my happiness, because I have more people I know in one place than I would have if they didn't already know and get along with each other.

So your top priority is to maximize the number of people you can do things with?

If a convo is Eng-only, then only people with an Eng badge should be able to see it.

There are many non-Eng's among us. They keep the place lively.

The way you find the time to socialize is to schedule it and make yourself do it.

I'm an introvert by nature so I'm always making excuses on why I can't do it. I'm too busy, etc.

The point is, you have to make connecting with people a priority, or you'll never make the time.

Do a little bit every day. Over many years, it truly adds up.

Adam is right. Do a bit every day. Because you won't have more time next week.

Thanks for that link, Eric. Excellent read.

I'm also a fan of Gretchen Rubin's post, What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do once in a while.

Says Gretchen,

We often overestimate what we can accomplish in a short amount of time, but underestimate what we can accomplish a little bit at a time, over a long period. You’ll probably make more progress on your novel if you write for an hour a day, every day, than if you try (and usually fail) to spend your entire Sunday writing.

That is: In most cases, the rule matters more than the exception.

A consistent habit and process are incredibly powerful over the long haul. "Waiting for inspiration" or "the right mood" is unsustainable for 99.999% of people. Better to work consistently and never show the stuff you did on your off days.

I concur.

In a previous thread I mentioned that you often say people are terrible at multitasking.

Please provide a link or three to http://bakadesuyo.com/ for supporting evidence. ;)

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