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What are the 10 best ways to build trust in a relationship?


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I've heard other variations:

1. In God we trust. All others bring cash.

2. In God we trust. All others bring data.

Great article by Eric Barker.

There are two different types of trust:

  • Competence-based trust“My plumber is the king of toilets. I trust him to do a good job.”
  • Benevolence-based trust“Larry is a good person. He won’t kill me in my sleep and pour sugar in my gas tank.”

The latter is what most people think of when they talk about trust. What creates it?

We all think we know but when you ask people you get stuttering or a lot of circular reasoning: “Trust means they won’t screw you over. And they won’t screw you over because… they’re trustworthy.”

Yeah, reeeeeeeeal helpful.

Eric Barker's list of 10 things to build trust IS real helpful: 

http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/07/build-trust-in-a-relationship/

Wow, thanks!  I'm working through trust issues in a variety of different context this week.  Some useful (and convicting!) suggestions.

Ernie, I think so, too. Eric also has a shorter article on how to know who you should trust:

http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/09/should-you-trust-anyone-how-do-you-know-who-t/

I really like number 5:

Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know.”

People who pretend they’re an expert in everything do not inspire trust. Those who are clear about what they can and cannot do are more likely to be relied on.

Read more: http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/07/build-trust-in-a-relationship/

There is a Stanford GSB case study that almost proves this. When talking to smart people, admitting "I don't know" actually builds trust.

I don't know where to find that Stanford GSB case study, but I believe it!