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Rebellious children? You're doing something right.

Stashed in: Children, Awesome, life, Freedom!, Parenting, Kids

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Troutgirl was expelled from high school for being rebellious... but that just proves that my Mom and Dad were awesome!

Rebellion begets autonomy:

So much of what we see as disobedience in children is actually just natural, curious, exploring, learning behaviour. Or reacting – in the only way they know how – to a situation over which they have no control.

"You can threaten or bribe a child into obedience for a little while," explains Kohn, "but you are missing the big picture and failing to address the underlying cause [of why they may not want to do something] which may be environmental – such as rushing a tired child through an unfamiliar place - or they may be psychological, such as fear about something else. A very obedient or complaint child – it depends, some are more docile by temperament - but others have created a false self because they sense their parent will only love them if they are obedient. The need for autonomy doesn't vanish because kids have been cowed into doing what they're told."

I'm going to remember this at bedtime tonight. Truth be told, I wish I had this article this morning for "Please go get changed before we make cookies... No you cannot be naked while you cook, and you may not go outside naked."  Two time outs later, he is rebelling by specifically picking PJs but I'm pretending I don't notice.  Glad science says this is a good thing. 

You're raising a future leader, Dawn. Especially if he can learn to use clothes!

Watch your doorstep for that future leader, Adam. Out here, we call that "summer internship." He has managerial experience--he'll tell anyone what to do. He can also control a budget like a grandmother during the Depression. He says, "No."   (backdrop: some Whitney for the "children are our future...")

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