I realize that there are successful people - traditionally men - who exude toughness in every aspect of their lives. But the real question is whether toughness actually produces success or whether the war model is actually ineffective. Do you have to make yourself tough if you want to be a leader? Each of us has natural tendencies that we can build upon or avoid - the choice is ours.

I think good leadership is knowing what to project and how to act to match with the needs of the context. There likely will be situations in which a leader needs to be tough. But too much of any approach will be counter productive. How you lead has to fit your circumstances to be effective. In war you probably have to be a tougher leader than when leading a silent retreat. And of course certain personalities will fit certain circumstances better than others.