The Science Of "Happily Ever After": 3 Things That Keep Love Alive
Eric Barker stashed this in Diabolical Plans For World Domination
Aside from being the epitome of lazy writing, “happily ever after” is not simple.
Ty Tashiro explains that couples in their first year of marriages score 86% for marriage satisfaction. By the seventh year, it’s under 50%.
Yes, about 50% of couples get divorced. Another 10-15% separate but do not file paperwork. And 7 more percent are chronically unhappy.
So the real stat is two-thirds of marriages do not live “happily ever after.”
Tip 1: Work at it.
What’s the secret behind the long term success of arranged marriages?
They have to work at it.
They don’t passively rely on “magic” and intense emotion. They have to spend a lot of time thinking about how to make it work.
Tip 2: Increase the positive.
The best relationships are more about increasing the good than reducing the bad.
Divorce may have less to do with an increase in conflict and more to do with a decrease in positive feelings.
Tip 3: Do exciting things together.
Why would doing anything exciting have such a big effect on a relationship?
Because we’re lousy about realizing where our feelings are coming from.
Excitement from any source will be associated with the person you’re with, even if they’re not the cause of it.
As happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky explains, excitement experienced mutually brings the tingles back.